One afternoon while hanging with my drinking patna, we decided that whatever the day had in store for us was going to be found at the end of an empty bottle. So I grab the keys to the Honda Sexual (late model Honda Accord) and headed out the door to the neighborhood liquor store with morning breath hanging on to the tip of my tongue like Keanu Reeves. Then it hit me “Pop quiz asshole, why are you headed to liquor store this early in the day?” With an answer only fashioned by my conscious itself, I answered, “It’s happy hour somewhere in the world.”
I snapped back into reality only to hear the car horn of the neglected soccer mom behind me reminding me that even a broke clock can be right two times a day. So, I gestured to her, letting her know that this infraction was all my fault. She returned my acknowledgement by shooting me the bird and the only thing that I could think of while pulling into the liquor was I thought you couldn’t use your hand in soccer. While entering the store, I noticed the burly police officer at the front door offering free rides to unruly customers .
As I strolled down the aisles thumbing through my wallet, I was reminded that the aisle I was in was not accepting IOU’s so I headed to the next aisle over. When I arrived, I laid eyes on this inviting temptress with long gorgeous black hair in a grass skirt and red lei playing a ukulele. This siren was new to my neck of the woods. She went by the name “Sailor Jerry” so I knew she would be a hit with my drinking patna. With him being a marine I knew they would have an instant connection.
Upon arrival to the cash registered I was glad to see that she was also economically efficient – Mom did always say stay away from gold diggers. As I returned to the house, I was interrogated by my drinking patna about the who, what, when, where and how’s of my new acquaintance. After several rounds conversation, “Sailor Jerry’s showed us the world without leaving my humble abode. So if you’re in need of some good conversation and saucy inebriation without financial devastation, ride the waves with Sailor Jerry and make sure you pack a case of Coca Cola so you don’t drown in flavor.
Catch you at the bar……